Fatherhood

Amid the widespread celebration of debauchery, I’d like to shed light on a more worthy reason to celebrate the month of June. It may not be the prevailing one across social media or endorsed on corporate logos, symbolizing an ideology that I consider pure hedonism. Instead, I propose an alternative that merits our utmost attention—fatherhood.

As I paced relentlessly through the hospital hallways, a whirlwind of emotions consumed me. Confidence, followed by dreadful uncertainty, only to regain confidence again. "It will be okay," I reassured myself. Nervously whispering, I muttered, "I can handle this," while waves of emotions surged through me. The sweat on my hands made it challenging to hold onto the carefully prepared "delivery-day" bag. I waited anxiously, unaware of what lay ahead. Just minutes ago, doctors hurriedly rushed my wife into the operating room for an emergency C-section. Our unborn daughter's heart rate had dangerously plummeted. Just before they whisked her away, our eyes met briefly, and at that moment, I saw fear reflected in hers—my heart sank.

Though many may not admit it, vulnerability is among the most terrifying feelings a man can endure. Particularly when that vulnerability renders us powerless to protect our family. At that moment, I was vulnerable. I couldn't be there for my wife, and I had no idea what the outcome would be. I fought to suppress unfathomable thoughts that relentlessly overwhelmed my already anxious mind. I clung to my faith in God, trusting Him to shield them amidst my uncertainty.

A few hours later, by the grace of God, everything turned out well. Both my wife and our firstborn were healthy. The accumulated stress and anxiety gradually released their grip on my tense muscles. Yet, it paled in comparison to what my wife endured. She was stronger—she had to be. She too maintained her faith in God. Now, our firstborn is 21 years old, and God has blessed us with two more daughters. They are all thriving and in good health. Thank God.

Experiences like these, where fatherhood tested me, would arise in the years that followed. Being a father has proven to be one of the most challenging things for me. But it also has been one of the most rewarding experiences (and it still is). I've made numerous mistakes, but I have also gleaned valuable lessons from them. One of the most rewarding aspects of fatherhood has been the ability to apologize when I was wrong. It is never easy, but it is undoubtedly worthwhile.

While youth brings with it many advantages, wisdom is not always among them. Becoming a father at 20 years old while trying to navigate this life as a man is challenging. Among many other faults, I battled with pride and anger. Never had a guiding figure to direct my steps into manhood, in carrying out the duties of a husband and father with love and kindness. But by the grace of God, I quickly realized that despite not having an earthly role model, there was one on which I could rely upon.

Through Him, I learned that apologizing is one of the wisest acts a father can do. I learned to cultivate self-control, compassion, kindness, courage, and humility. Through Him, I discovered the need to crucify my own desires for the sake of others—my family. This required a different type of courage and self-sacrifice though. Through Him, I realized the importance of setting aside pride and prioritizing the needs of others above my own. Through Him, I learned what real love and sacrifice look like.